| This is a chapter out of the book "The dateable rules" by Justin Lookadoo and Hayley Morgan. It's a bible study you can do with your "significant other", haha or just some really good guy friends.
I love this first part though because Justin writes it to us. He basically lays it down and makes us feel like laughing and crying at the same time. He writes this chapter like a godly man would speak about a girl and reminds us that we don't need to impress those smelly men out there, they're already hooked we just need to love and accept them. But enough of this chatter, lets get to it.
Accept your Girlyness
Girls, before we go anywhere, you're gonna have to understand why you are so dang irresistible to guys. I don't think you really get how amazing you are, so before we go anywhere else on this trip, you need to hear a few things from this guy. Today I represent the guys in your life, and I'm going to fill you in on what goes on inside my head when I think of girls.
The biggest thing that I just love about girls is how soft your skin is. Mine's all rough and hairy, but yours is so soft that I just love it when it brushes up against me. And you know what makes your skin softer than mine? Your body has extra fat cells. The fat cells that you love to hate are really the reason for your soft skin that I love to love.
And believe it or not, I love that fact that you're emotional, because that gives me something that I don't have. It's an adventure I don't get to live on my own. Now, if you are psycho-overemotional, that's another issue. But emotions are so feminine and so not male that I love it. It's uncharted territory. It's a maze. It's a challenge. It's what makes you a girl and not a guy.
I love the way you talk. Three words in an e-mail can totally make a man feel like fighting a battle and rescuing a beauty. The kind and feminine things you say are stuff I would never get from my guy friends, and I need it. I need to hear your sweet words like "You're my hero," or "You're so strong." When an e-mail starts with "Hey, Doll," my face lights up. I know for sure it isn't one of my guy friends talking- that would be freaky!
I love the cute little clothes you wear. A guy would never be caught dead in ruffles, but on you it's so girly, and that makes it cute.
I love your eyes. They might be the same eyes a guy could have, but they look so much better in your head. I just love your eyes. Mascara and all. I love the way you flirt, the way you smile at me, the way your hair smells. I love that I'm stronger than you and that you need me to take care of and protect you. When you can't open the ketchup bottle and ask me to, gosh I love that. I just live it when you need my help. When somebody upsets you and you need to cry on my sholder, oh, that's a good feeling. And I love the way your hand is so little that is can fit into mine.
I notice that alot of girls get hung up on size. "My nose is too big!" "My feet are too big!" Let me just tell you here and now that there are no girls whose feet are too big! Telling me stuff like "My butt is too big, and I'm too fat" just annoys me. In fact- news flash- I don't think anything about you being too this or too that 'til you tell me, and then I'm just sick of hearing it. If you are one of those girls who says, "My eyes are ugly and brown. I want blue eyes," I say there are plenty of guys who love brown eyes, and that's not going to determine if a guy goes out with you or not anyway. Here's the whole problem as I see it: Every girl's is too , and you fill in the blanks. Your straight hair is too straight; your curly hair too curly. You all spend your life thinking you're too this, that, or the other. Stop it! Quit saying all the negative stuff about yourself. When you do that, what you are doing is basically telling us guys that we are wrong. When you get upset when I say you're beautfil and say, "No, I'm not," you are calling me stupid. It doesn't matter what you think about you; let me think what I want to think. When you tell a guy he's wrong, you run him off. Why would a guy want to go out with a girl who disagrees with everything he thinks? He wouldn't. A guy is not going to pick a loser to go out with, especially not a self-proclaimed one. So if you don't like guys to tell you nice things about yourself, don't tell him that. Just go handle your issue, 'cuz you've got one.
I know it's hard, but you have to listen to me when I tell you not to compare yourself to the girls you see in mags or on TV. From a guy's perspective, we don't care that you don't look like them. We pretty much know they're fake anyway. I mean, we'll be turned on by that stuff because we see it, but we are also turned on by you because you're there. We don't expect you to be the perfect supermodel; we just need you to be there. I mean, a girl will think she's ugly 'cuz she's comparing herself to every other girl. "She has bigger breasts than me." "Her hair is thicker." Straight up, I don't care! I don't compare girls. Believe it or not, I'm a hunter, not a shopper. You girls shop for guys by comparing them, trying different things about them to see if they fit or not. I don't. I like you because you are a girl, period, the end. I'm not comparing you to every other girl. Like my friend Ben says, "I'll probably never get married 'cuz I love all girls. There's something about every one of them that I love." We don't need you to be perfect in every little thing. I find something alarmingly beautiful in each of you. Your laugh, your smile, your hands, your eyes, each one of you has one thing that is uniquely you and uniquely attractive. So lay off the comparison charts and let us love that stuff about you.
You just give us something that we can't get from guys. We could get all psychoanalytical about it and say it was from a bond with our mother, but it's just the way God made us. He made guys and girls to be able to do different things. From a guy's perspective, all that girly stuff that we don't understand, we really don't want to understand. We just like it. We are happy with your girlyness." |
Anyway, it was cool because today in choir, Mr. St. John handed out a new song. He said that he had his friend write a song dedicated to our choir and to Mr. St. John's last year of teaching since he will be retiring in 4 months (yes, that's right everyone..... my last day of high school is in EXACTLY four months from TODAY! May 30th, 2007 
). And he wrote the song based on those same exact verses in Ecclesiastes. A student in the choir read the passage in Ecclesiastes. Then we started the song today and it was so cool to be singing a song that's from the Bible. I loved it so much. And then I thought....God must be trying to show me that there is a season for everything, and nothing is wrong with the seasons. We all have to go thru them, and it's just part of the journey. I am going through a season right now that nobody else is, and it's definitely a struggle, and God's definitely testing and trying me in this process - I'm so sure of that! Buuuut, it's still so amazing because He's stickin' with me.....guiding me every step of the way. I am where I am because He's got an amazing plan for my life. 